The pain of a broken soul(KazuakiHitori X Reader)
by FrowerssX
Summary: A short Xreader on Kazuaki Nanaki! Will you earn this sleepy teachers love or will he refuse you?


f/n = first name  
s/n = surname  
e/c = eye colour  
h/c= Hair colour  
G= Gender

You enjoyed your time at Saint Pigeonations, you had a lot of new friends and even made the teachers like you. One in particular took your fancy, you thought he was beautiful and there was a light in his eyes that longed to be released.

His name?

Nanaki Kazuaki, he was your math and homeroom teacher. He was kind, he spoke softly and slowly so everyone around him could understand him easily. He even has this...Well...This "father" feel about him that strangely made you feel safe.

However he worried you but you often worry about stupid and little things. However his sudden sleeping habits worried you, you worry every time he makes a little cry in his sleep or when he grains his bill together. You even worry when he suddenly wakes up on his own to only pull a sleepy smile.

Even his smile worried you. He always used the same one, he never really showed his emotions clearly.

"Why?" you whispered to yourself while looking down at your math book however the man himself stood in front of you with his sleepy smile.

"Is something the matter (S/N)?" he asked in a sleepy voice like always.  
"Huh? Oh no" you smiled "nothing is wrong"  
"Hmm...Your sure?" He asked  
"Yup!" You laughed.

"But erm..."  
"Huh?"  
"Your here late aren't you?" He asked in confusion but then you looked outside and it was dark!  
"What?!" you gasped in shock.

"I spaced out in thought for fair to long!" you thought  
"Damn it!" you whispered to yourself  
"Hehe, hey...Since its dark why don't I walk you home?" he smiled  
"Huh?"

"You sure?" you asked  
"It...It be a thank you!" he smiled  
"A thank you?" you asked while you looked up to his golden hair and eyes.  
"Indeed...For...For the beans you gave me on Legumentine's" he smiled  
"Oh" You sounded but then:

...Flash back...

"Mr Nanaki! Mr Nanaki wait!" you shouted while you ran to him, thankfully he heard you and turned to you. You stopped in front of him and looked a bit up at him. He wasn't the tallest of the birds you knew but you still needed to look up a bit.  
"Yes (s/n)?" He asked  
"Do have homework for me?" he asked

"No sir I...I...Well I" "you what?" he smiled  
"I...I got something for y...you" you stuttered while you blushed harshly  
"Hmmm for me?" he asked  
"Y...Yeah" you stuttered but then you got the bag of beans out of your bag.

"Here country millet" you said while you lowered you head. You didn't know if he like this type of beans, by you never even knew what he likes and dislikes!  
"Country millet?" he asked  
"Y...Yeah" you stuttered again  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah"

"Well thank you!" He smiled while he took the bag off you so you looked at him. However he pulled a smile you never seen before. This smile it...  
It had meaning  
It was genuine and not his fake sleepy smile  
It...It was his own smile

Even his eyes gleamed with happiness  
"Thank you! Theses...These have good memories to them, and I love the smell!" he smiled happily.  
"Thank you so much (F/n)" he smiled using your first name for the first time.

"Hmm...I haven't got anything in return just now...but I will pay you back" he smiled  
"There's no need!" You smiled  
"Huh?"  
"Its Legumentine's sir...I'm meant to give beans to the boy I like!" you smiled  
"Legumentine's? I...I see" He stuttered while his sweet smile faded a bit.

"Well anyways thank you so much for these! I make sure to repay you!" he smiled while he turned and walked forward.  
"Sir wait!" you shouted  
"See you tomorrow! Don't forget your homework!" he chuckled.

...End of flash back...

"He never really said anything when I told him I liked him" you thought to yourself while he was stood there still waiting for you to answer him  
"Oh...Yes, please" you smiled snapping yourself out of your thinking stage again  
"Ok" he simply said.

With that you walked beside him to your house but of course he ended up leaning on you and falling asleep. You were amaze on how he could sleepwalk so well. However those noises that he always made in his sleep sounded:

Graining his bill  
Winning  
Little sad coos here and there  
A fate snore

It broke your heart every time you heard those noises. You thought he was having a nightmare. You had to wake him!  
"Sir!" You said but nothing  
"SIR!" You shouted and he jumped awake.

He looked around confused at first but then he looked at you and pulled his sleepy smile  
"Yes (s/n)?" he asked  
"I'm sorry" "huh?" "You seemed like if you were having a nightmare!" you said.

"A nightmare? Oh yes...I...I kind of was...Thank you for waking me up" he said  
"Do you always have nightmares?" you asked  
"Not always...I am blessed with nice dreams once in a while...But that is rare" he explained  
"I...I" "But it's nothing that a nice young (G), should worry about!" he said still pulling his fake smile.  
"O...Ok" you stuttered but you knew it wasn't! You wanted to know more!

You wanted to know why he seemed so sad, why he always pulled the same smile, why his eyes look so sad but yet have a light of kindness within them.  
"Sir" you said  
"Yes?" he softly said.

"About Legumentine's" you said  
"Ah, yes Legumentine's...I...You got me those beans, I enjoyed them so much" he smiled.

"But sir" You said while you stopped walking and so did he.  
"What?" he asked  
"I...I think you misunderstand why I gave you them sir" You said.

"No...No I never" he said and afterwards he sounded a very tried and sad sigh.  
"I...I know why" he said while he looked up to the sky. You did the same to only see white stars shining brightly in the night sky.  
"You think you like me, yes?" he asked but you looked at him and frowned.

"I know I like you" you snarled in anger. You knew! You knew how you felt! But he looked down at you with a gentle smile while he gave you a little shake of the head.  
"No" he sighed "You think"  
"But I"  
"You know nothing about me...I...I am not who you think I am" He sighed.

"Wh...What?" you asked in confusion  
"Anyways, I am your teacher. A student and a teacher shouldn't be together. Its...Its awkward or so I heard" he laughed but it was his fake and tried laugh.

"Sir" you said  
"Yes"  
"I...I do...I...I love you sir" you stuttered while you blushed harshly  
"Love?" He asked

"Y...Yeah" you stuttered  
"Oh, no!" he said but wait...That voice, it was different! It was stronger and more deeper!  
"*cough!* *cough!* Err...Excuse me I had a dry throat today!" he smiled changing his voice back into "his" smooth and gentle voice.

"*Cough!* Anyways, love? You know nothing about love" "but" "love can give, it can give you wonderful things but it can...It can also take the things you love away and leave you with nothing. Love doesn't come without pain...Pain doesn't come without love...Love is a horrid, horrid game...No (F/N) You cannot love me" he said.

"Why?!" You snapped  
"I...I cannot love again" he said with a small smile "it...It hurts too much...Once you love someone fate only takes them away...and...and there is nothing you can do but to hurt and hurt everyday...Hating the world, hating yourself...If...if I was you (f/n) I forget about me" he said.

"But sir I!" but he stopped you there by a simple shake of the head and you just couldn't help but feel small tears coming out of your eyes.  
"I lost someone dear to me long ago...With their death I changed, I changed into a heartless man" "that's not true!" "I" "You not heartless!" You snapped.

"Haha! Like I said, you know nothing about me...You have no idea what I have done...I...I am a bad man, you do well to stay away...I...I can't love you.. Not now...Not when love tore my heart out like it did. I can't...I can't bring myself to love if it only leads to so much pain" he said.

"You will find out how much love hurts but I am not the man to show you it...I do not want to love again"  
"That's too sad!" you cried while your heart tore in two but warm arms wrapped around you. You froze while you felt small tears hit on top of you head. He was crying too.

"I'm sorry" he said  
"Sir"  
"I am not worthy of your heart (f/n)" He said while he let you go so you looked up to him with crying eyes.

He smiled his fake smile again  
"Trust me, I am doing you a favour...As like I said...This...This man in front of you is not who you think he is...I...I am not as innocent as I look" "but!" "Some people may even think I am as bad as the doctor"  
"You nothing like him! He's cruel and...and" but he stopped you again by a simple shake of the head.

"I am similar to him" he said "Even I have done some bad things"  
"But like him?"  
"Like him" he said  
"But"  
"Its a long story, which I don't want to talk about...All I want to do is finish what I started long ago, only then will I...I be able to move on or to end it all...That is why I also can't love...If I love I will get distracted I...I must fulfil his wish, I must!" he said

"He?" you thought  
"Anyways...I refuse your offer a (G) like you deserves a lot better" he said while you wrapped you eyes.  
"I...I see you tomorrow, ok? I'm sure you can go home yourself now... And...I...I'm sorry but you will meet a better man than me one day and he...he will treasure, respect and love you like...Like I did to him long ago, ok? I know that for sure" he smiled and with that he walked off.

You stood there in tears while that was all to much to bare. However now you know why he's so sad. But there are so many questions unanswered:

Why did he sleep all the time?  
Why was there sometimes the smell of blench around him?  
Why was there that light in his eyes that craves to be let out but he never allows it?  
Why won't he let go of all of this pain and suffering?

This longing was in your heart as well as the pain he caused you by his refusal.

You wanted to know the answers to all these questions!  
"I will find out!" You thought while you carried on walking home by yourself...

...Fin...


End file.
